This year, things got upped. 

Parents met, words and actions were exchanged. I was rude to her mother as I smirked at her words, and my father, apparently insulted her by asking, "What if he called you a 'p'". (At least that's what I think the insult was) and after that, her family left the house. She haven't came back to stay ever since. Only to come by and pack her stuff.

Rewind a year. My parents got insulted. I was smirked at. We chose to stay calm. My dad was furious, but I told him to not allow the actions and words of others affect how we react. Alhamdulillah. 

It's okay. Even though chances of them forgiving is low, as in right now, due to the anger, I'll seek God's forgiveness while I forgive them too. No point keeping the negative feelings and allowing things to eat you up inside. 

Do I regret the marriage? Nope. How many people get to say that they married their primary 6 crush? I had the opportunity to do so ok! And as much as there were very bad moments, there were many beautiful moments that will be inked in my memory forever. 

Both were at fault. Both reacted adversely to each other's words and actions. That's why Islam taught us to control our anger. 

Although from the looks of social media, I may be blamed for a lot of stuff, I am okay. I shall accept those words, cos I I am at fault too. 

How did I fail? I failed to educate my wife in a Muslim way. If I had learnt to control my temper much earlier, things would have been different. 

No point with the what ifs anyway. Now it's about taking things as positive as I can to be able to move on. 

I needed her to acknowledge that I wasn't the only one at fault through words. Perhaps, I didn't get it because she may have acknowledged it in a different way. My bad for not acclimatizing to her ways. 

Last night was a shock. Certain things were taken away, including Danny and Leslie. Yes, they are her cats. But I loved them as mine too. So, I was abit disappointed that I couldn't sayang them abit. Nevermind, they'll be in good hands. She loves those cats like her own children! :)

I was in state of shock. Cos I didn't plan to leave that house so soon. It's my first house. My first home I bought. So many memories here. 

I remembered when we first shifted in. The painting. Haha. Choosing the colors. Thinking of where to put what. How we went shopping for furniture. (going to ikea to get A.. But ended up getting A,B,C,D.. 😜) It was a great experience. 

So I gotta pack everything and go. Alittle difficult to live in a house without a fridge. Haha! No washing machine ok lah. Can hand wash. But no way to keep food to cook and all. So nevermind, shifting out. 

After the Friday incident, amicable would be out of the question for them. So hopefully it'll be swift so both can move on in life. 

We tried very hard, and we failed very hard too. Perhaps it's better for us. Allah knows best. 

I am thankful for the experiences. I am thankful for the opportunity to learn. I am thankful for Allah's ways of making me learn things about the religion even though they were hard lessons. 

While the chapter is not closed yet as there's the paperwork and processes, the least I can try is to take whatever comes as positive as possible. 

Do I still love her? Of course! No matter what has happened, I will. That's what love is right? But I'll learn to keep that somewhere hidden deep in the heart. She meant a lot to me. 

One day, I will learn to love someone else. I will learn to get over this episode. I will learn to control my anger better.  And In Shaa Allah, learn to be a better husband.