Tuesday, May 26, 2009.
Yong describes it very well. I am at the a crossroad in life where there are two options. One leads to a dead end. The other route isn't even a road. I want to make my own road but i have not the tools.
I take pride in knowing how good my english is. But somehow or rather, everytime when i speak, people tend to get the wrong message or impression. It happened again tonight.
I was alone before. But this around it feels worse. I cannot trust my god family any more and I feel like a stranger at home.
I envy those people who have many close friends whom they can talk to or meet up with or those who are close with a family member. I wished I had that. I have yong, but he has his family and work commitments. taxing on him too much will end up with me feeling guilty.
I prayed, but I think i might have done something really bad cos the big guy up there seems to not heed my calls for help.
Again, I am down to my bare bones. I don't know what to do. People tell me to hang on, but I have nothing to hang on to! I feel as if I am about to cross the sanity line and become part of the increasing number of people who lose their minds.
I need a sancutary I can go to, depend on and think of my next step.
I need to be myself again.
