Wednesday, December 14, 2005.
The greatest hurdle has been left behind.. after years of postulation.. things have been laid out in the open at last.. rather relieving it has been.. allowing me to smile at ease after what had been though of as a rollercoaster ride..
things have been moving towards a certain direction rather slowly.. which i'm thankful for.. i'd rather have things moving than having things remain stagnant for too long a time.. seems much easier and less painful now.. is this what i've been waiting for? i shall not jump to any conclusions yet..as i do not wish for things to turn awry out of a sudden.. i shall take one step at a time.. and i'm confortable with it.. at last..
studying was never my forte.. i do not read unless the book or a particular topic is deemed interesting enough to reconnoitred.. then came architecture.. i assumed that it would be a course that would enable me to polish up my ideas..and further bring out the creative side of me.. something which i aways took pride in..but it never failed to tire me out.. ad always leave me broken at the end of everything..things may seem so beautful and perfect one moment..but the very next.. things can make a turn for the worse... its saddenning..cos im beginning to love architecture.. beinginning to love creating things.. but here is what i do not udnerstand.. i had a choice to mnake.. between doing my schoolwork..as in my project.. or coming to shcool more often..and have lesser time for my project.. time is something all architecture students wish they could have more.. but you see.. we dont have sufficient time in our hands to finish up our work.. i have a life.. and i have to set a balance in life.. i need my time for leisure and time for work.. the thing is.. if i were to dedicate my time to my work.. i will suffer greatly cos im not one who could sit down doing something that i consider a chore for too long... i love doing my work..but after a while..i'll yearn to go out with my friends to have a cup of coffee..or just to walk aimlessly around..looking and appreciating the environment.. haiz..
architecture - the art and science of designing and erecting buildings..
i get the art part... but the science? it irritates the hell out of me.. knowing that there are so many boundaries binding me down.. depriving me of experiencing my true building form.. the way i want it to be.. it pisses the shit out of me..haiz.. now im stuck between doing my model.. my 3d model..and my workplace layout..fark.. i wish i ad enough hands to do eveything at the same time.. haiz..
yesterday.. a particular movie reminded me of an experience my friend and i had sometime back.. it was rather boring to a certain extent..knowing what is going to happen next..but it got alittle digusting when the pictures of the past reappeared in the mind.. felt like puking there...but company was wonderful.. i missed it.. wish there could be more of such days.. when i could just be relaxed... maybe it'll happen again...
~~A woman worries about her future untill she gets a husband.. A man worries about his future when he gets a wife~~
