I am an angel..
Welcome to my domain..
if you don't like what you see..
suck it up.

Aaron
Arsenal F.C.
Azziana
Deborah
Esther
Farhan
Herlina
Kailing
Mardiah
Nicole
Norsh
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Quah
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when is it enough? i ventured out to sea with a sailboat.. but somehow along the way.. that small cramped boat.. turned into a lavishisly stunning ship...

did i do enough? or did i simply forgot the goals i set out o do..and ended up being greedy? having achieved more than what one has planned to do.. One should be thankful.. or overjoyed.. but not me.. i felt guilty.. for doing too much.. hence.. the decision to give it all up..to start afresh..

Some may call it dumb..others just call it being simply idiotic.. but well.. one important person in y life once told me..

"sometimes.. you just have to turn around and find out where it all went wrong..its like pushing the reset button.. it has its downside.. you may lose everything..but if you're willing enough.. you might gain more"

thats what im setting out to do.. a gargantuan sacrifice..not just for me..but for the other half of me..

thing were very much shaky the last time around.. all cos i kept everything a ecret.. but things just spilled out..

But now..when im telling everything..it deosnt matter to her anymore.. simply because.. it supposedly has ntohing to do with her.. how can it be? we're in this ship together.. anything that rocks me..wil lrock you..but why is it do u not see it?

Just as it seems as if the storm has mellowed down.. another is brewing..not far away.. her parents now.. and it seems that i may have to do this alone.. my heart cried when i heard that remark..

then again it happened.. it made to see that i had not done anything..nothing worthy enough to be deemed as a sacrifice.. why is it that way? it hurts so much! many days have u said that..and many times have my heart bled..do you not see my sacrifices? or are you blinded by something else? the things i've decided to put aside..to make this ship of our stay afloat..is of little or no significance.. in fact.. you claim that it has ntohing to do with you.. i wish not to bring this up to you..as you would rile up whenever i start talking things out.. and you'd end up in tears..and again.. i'll be in a the wrong..for trying..to set things straight..

my heart yearns for u.. day and night.. but why is it.. i dont feel that you feel the same way too? what i say..whatever that happens in my life..is not important to you..as it has nothing to do with you..so you claim.. but everythig that happens in your life.. school, ork,family.. i have to take it into consideration? countlessly.. you have made me feel bad..for not meeting up wit hyou.. simply cos i had to attend to my family first.. why is it..you can be with your family.. and leave me aside for awhile..when i cant?

i'm still going to keep quiet.. i'm still going to keep my cool.. and i'm still going to forgive you.. even..if you do not see the wrong you've done.. simply cos.. i love you.. but please..do not blame me..if one day.. a volcano erupts more violently than any you've seen.. i have things on my mind.. many other things.. and i'm just human.. there is just so much that i can take.. this bloggy would piss the shit out of you..or maybe make you feel down.. but seriously.. i need a source of output.. you cant be mine.. cos simply.. you have little or no patiece.. therefore.. i turn to my faithful blog..

you don't know how much you;ve hurt me..maybe cos..you've never bothered..or perhaps..you've never tried to see.. but i dunno why.. my heart still loves you.