Thursday, August 18, 2005.
Today marks the 40th day since my godma passed away.. we're supposed to have prayers but we've decided to push it to saturday as people have work tomorrow..
its been a rather long and painful 40 days..well most of it.. without my own angel around..it feels empty.. but nevertheless.. life has to go on..
40days ago.. D was still my frind..today she isnt.. i met her two days ago.. to talk.. to settle things.. and well.. things didn't go they way they should have..but well.. things were said.. and truths came out.. painful truths in every sense..but i was happy it came out.. i'd rather be told then be kept in the dark.. D.. if u r reading this.. now i know.. you should have told me all that earlier.. now i know why the past few monhs werent as smooth sailing as i hoped for it to be.. well.. things are somewhat decided now. .and we have nothing to do with each other anymore it seems.. time to move on..
its been a suprisingly better wo days.. a week ago.. iw as complaing about missing her.. and how painful it was to not have called her.. now i know why its painful..cos i just didnt bother to stop thinking! hah! well..managed to stop harbouring her in my head.. and well well.. its been a good 2 days so far..2 days is betetr tha nnothing considering the fact that i've been keeping her in my head for 2 years already..hahaha
and my sister gave birth to a healthy baby boy three days ago! Muhammad Rayyan Anaqi.. The Praised One, The Beautiful Gates of Heaven! hahaha now theres a gate for me to guard at last eh? haha..he's so cute!!!! and Ian, my other nephew...keeps on pulling Rayyan's legs.. (its pronounced exactly the same as Ryan).. hehe..so cute these two.. now i have 2 nephews n one niece around me most of the time.. (that excludes the other few nephews n nieces i have)..haha.. these three will be my fave.. :X favourtism.. tsk tsk.. haha ;)
ooh..yesterday night..i couldnt sleep..i opened my cigarette box and saw three cigarettes.. then something came to my mind..these shall be your last 3 cigarettes.. heh.. how many times hae i said it'll be my last? i havent any idea..too many times.. is it gng to workthis time? no idea either.. but well..it doesnt hurt to try.. urthermore..its a good time to quit.. im exercising.. my schoolwork doesnt require my to use my fingers much..so. i need not worry bout shivering and being unable to complete my project which is due in 4 weeks.. hmm.. and my birthday is coming!in a few weeks! wouldnt that be a good way to start my adult life..without the cigarettes? hmm..yesh.. haha.. btw.. i smoke when i wake up..the smell turns me off like mad i tell you..thats y i havent been smoking in the morning.. :X
Wahida is gng to treat me! she set aside a hel llot of money for my birthday..haha..wth.. i told her to keep the money or get me sumthing cheap instead..haha..so.she's gng to fill my tummy with Pizza! been craving for it for sometime..hahaa. just had to pounce on the opportuinity.. :X
grades were out..wasnt the best of my grades..but considering what i had to go through during the period of time..im quite pleased with it.. knowing that i could do better though.. so.. im gng to get what im aiming for next submission.. i go 2 Bs..and two C+s.. kinda screwed up eh.. haha the two C+ especially.. :X well..now tats something to work on to keep myself busy i suppose :)
and now its time for me to leave the house and go to school..starts at 1..have a submission later..did it yesterday..hahaha..kinda impressed that i could finish it up within 4 hours.. while couhging like an idiot.. i'l lsee hwo to put it on my blog..if there's such a way..ill put it up :)
muacks..byebye n take care!
~~Patience is a virtue~~
