Sunday, June 12, 2005.
hehz..looks like today ill do a double entry...cos i have something to type about..the same freaking thing i've been typing abput ever since i started blogging.. suprisingly.. it still hasnt got out of me..haha bloody irritating. its been exactly 1 year, 9mths since i broke up with Deborah.. and im stil lcounting..hah.. y im counting? not cos i rememebr her that much..its cos.. thats how long i've been single!! single as in..not having a relationship crossing over 4mths.. my last one last 3 mths i think..hha there was only one after Dee.. haha..
ok..back to the subject.. am i over her or not? haha.. been pondering about that.. and looks like..after that so long a time..the answer is still a bloody 'no'..HAH!.. kinda irritating..yet sad.. irritating cos its bee nso long..could have said 'yes' to 7 girls..SEVEN!!!!!! but i said no.. cos i didnt want to 'cheat' on them.. haha guys think im stupid cos i said no.. but i think its being fair cos my heart isnt there.. blehz..anyway.. i dunno why..the girls.. that i met..wer as good as Dee.. but maybe thats the problem..they're everything i want in a girl..thats what Dee is.. she still is.. although she chooses not to blive it..haha.. but maybe cos i've had wad iwanted in a girl.. i'm actually looking for something more..without knowing it... now thats scary..not knowing what u want..but somehow have a feel of it.. bloody confusing..hahhaa..
geez..when will i get over this..i have no idea...cos im taking things with da flow..and doesnt seem to work..the moment i force myself to do something..it'll backfire really badly..haha damn fucked up la.. cant stnd it..haha..nvnm..go with the flow i guess..maybe with the people i know now..i may start liking someone? then maybe the feeling may eventually fade away? hopefully.. cos.. i guess.. icant seem to be stuck here..considering that fact that Dee has practically said no a gazillion times.. haha and my head doesnt register it? no idea why.. hahhaa..
so..the fact is stated.. im not over my ex girlfriend. wee. first step is to admit it..and realise it..next step is to kill it.. now.. one question..if anybody can help me answer that question..ill be eternally grateful to u.. HOW THE HELL DO I STOP LOVING SOMEONE?! haha i cant!!!!!! i just do.. i cant bring myself to hate.. fucking irritating.. outside like durian.. poke veryone likes nobody's business..inside..soft.. haha..idiot lah..
so..anyone who is kind enough to help me..whther i know u or not..drop me a msg on my brand new taggy.. leave ur contact if u want.. ill be grateful to u..haha in return..u have the angel's services.. :) (Clean services..du nthink dirty..im an angel :P... hehe)
so..till i blog again.. enjoy the blue-ness of my bloggy.. listen t the nice jazz by this italian group.. and if u can.. drop me a msg or two on my taggy..muacks! take care!
